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Boogie Cartoon Frights/Transcript
Cast: * Rosariki (GoGoRiki) * Lil DeVille (Rugrats) * Swift Heart Rabbit (The Care Bears Family) * Ben Kropotkin (Rugrats) * Tenderheart Bear (The Care Bears Family) * Love-a-Lot Bear (The Care Bears Family) * Dark Laser (The Fairly OddParents) * Circe (DuckTales) * Chop Chop Master Onion (PaRappa the Rapper) * Morton Koopa Jr. (Super Mario Bros.) * Ludwig Von Koopa (Super Mario Bros.) Transcript: * (Cartoon Land Scene) (Camera stops on their house and zooms in.) * (Inside, the 3 cartoon characters are dressed for bed, but not quite ready for sleep. Rosa is sitting up in bed, Swift Heart Rabbit is jumping on it in anger, and Lil DeVille is surveying a pile of stuffed animals worriedly.) * Swift Heart Rabbit: Man, I’m not ready for bed yet! (Zoom in slowly on Rosa as Lil grabs some stuffed animals.) * Rosariki: Now, girls, you know we need to get plenty of sleep. It’s our responsibility as superheroines to be well-rested so that we’ll be at peak crime-fighting performance whenever evil rears its ugly head. * (As she continues, a large lump moves into view and makes its way up Lil’s section of the bed, in the center.) * Rosariki: And, like Ben Franklin always said— (The lump emerges; it is the pile of stuffed animals, followed by Lil’s arms.) “Early to bed, early to wake, makes a lady smart, pretty, and great.” * (Lil remains under the covers, only her arms in view. Cut to Swift Heart’s side of the bed.) * Swift Heart Rabbit: Yeah, yeah— (Lil peeks out.) —but all the fun stuff happens at night. Parties, dancing, nightclubs and stuff. (snapping her fingers) Girl, it’ll be awesome once we’re old enough to go out after dark. Right, Lil? * Lil DeVille: Uh…no. (She is terrified.) * Swift Heart Rabbit: What do you mean, no? * Lil DeVille: I don’t know. (Pull back.) * Swift Heart Rabbit: You’re not afraid of the dark, are you? * Lil DeVille: No. * Swift Heart Rabbit: You ain’t scared of monsters under the bed, are you? * (Rosa looks nervously over the edge of the bed; Lil cries out and pulls the covers back up.) * Lil DeVille: (shaking) No. * Swift Heart Rabbit: Well, then. I guess you wouldn’t be afraid of the Boogie Man, either. * Rosariki, Lil DeVille: (Lil DeVille pulling covers down a bit) Who? * (Swift Heart Rabbit leans over Lil menacingly; as she speaks, her sister becomes increasingly fearful.) * Swift Heart Rabbit: Boogie Man! The creepiest, scariest, nastiest, long-finger-and-pointy-teeth-havingest, little-kid-gettingest monster in the WORLD! (backing off) But don’t worry. He only comes out… * (She turns off the light and leans forward again. Now we see her only as a silhouette, with the sides of her lip curling up like horns and her eyes shining in the darkness. She cuts a fearsome little figure.) * Swift Heart Rabbit: …after dark! * (Lil screams. Ben bursts into the room, silhouetted in the light from the hall.) * Ben Kropotkin: Wha—?! * (Now Lil and Rosa both scream, and she yells out in surprise.) * Rosariki, Lil DeVille: IT’S THE BOOGIE MAN!! * Ben Kropotkin: What? (turning lights on) Boogie Man? What’s going on in here?! * (Back to the bed. Lil is crying, Rosa wears a look of righteous anger, and Swift Heart adopts the sort of caught-in-the-act expression that only a small child can get right, knowing she's in trouble for frightening her sisters, especially Lil DeVille.) * Ben Kropotkin: (stepping into view, picking up Swift Heart Rabbit) Swift Heart—are you teasing your sisters again?! * Rosariki: Yes. (She sits down next to Lil DeVille and puts an arm around her. She stops crying.) * Ben Kropotkin: Okay, Lil, calm down. Everything’s all right now. *Rosariki: (goody-goody mode) Ben, I was trying to sleep, but Lil was afraid of the dark, and—and Swift Heart Rabbit was telling scary stories, and then— *Ben Kropotkin: (wearily) Yes, Rosa, I know. Swift Heart likes to be an instigator. *Lil DeVille: A what? *Rosariki: That means she was trying to get your goat. *Lil DeVille: (pulling a stuffed goat to herself) No! *Swift Heart Rabbit: Well, it’s not my fault she’s a baby scared of the dark. *Lil DeVille: I’m sorry. I wish I were brave. *Ben Kropotkin: Now, girls, being scared doesn’t make you a baby. I was scared when I heard my friends screaming. But did I hide under the covers? (Close-up of Rosariki.) *Rosariki: (righteously) No. You ran in to check on us very brave-like. *Ben Kropotkin: (from o.s., sighing) Thank you, Rosa. (Pull back.) You see, bravery doesn’t mean you’re not scared. (Zoom in on her and Lil.) Bravery is doing what you’re afraid to do. (patting her head) If you can just face your fears, then I know you can find the courage to beat ’em. *(She sniffles and smiles, and she tucks Swift Heart Rabbit into bed next to her.) *Ben Kropotkin: Now, then, everyone, into bed. It’s time for sleeping. *(He kisses Rosa and Lil DeVille on the cheek, and they close their eyes. He pauses over Swift Heart Rabbit.) *Ben Kropotkin: And no more monkey business! *(He kisses her; she closes her eyes. Now she walks o.c., and the lights snap off.) *Lil DeVille: But— (Cut to him at the door, hand on the light switch.) *Ben Kropotkin: Don’t worry, Lil, the hall light will take care of any Boogie Men that might show up. *(Back to the bed. Lil DeVille sighs contentedly and settles down to sleep as the light from the hall narrows to a shaft that falls across her.) *Narrator: Ahh, that’s better. (Swift Heart swipes an alligator from Lil’s pile and snuggles with it without her noticing the theft.) Now that things have quieted down— *(A thumping backbeat stats up.) *Narrator: (yawning) —we can all get some… (awake again) Say, do you hear something? *(Turn down to the foot of the bed and zoom in at ground level. Now the bass line kicks in.) *Narrator: (curious) Some kind of crazy beat? *(When the view shows only the darkness under the bed, the interior of a vertical shaft becomes visible. The camera moves down this; we hear the sound of tools being used and see part of a large spherical structure come into view.) *Narrator: Who could still be awake at this time of night? *(At ground level, a figure is bent over behind the structure. It wears white platform shoes with spikes on the soles, making them look like a pair of beasts’ heads, When it speaks, it sounds a little like Barry White.) *Morton Koopa Jr.: (to itself) …just slip in the last piece, and… (A clank is heard.) Circe. *(Pan over to a door. A beautiful witch with white skin, wearing a long navy blue gown and high heals, stands next to it. Now we see the shadow of the speaker—very tall and imposing, with two long horns growing to the sides. The tall one, Circe, snaps a salute.) *Morton Koopa Jr.: (from o.c.) Let’s get this party started. *(Cut to a 1960s-era lounge and pan slowly across the room. Creatures and monstrosities of all sorts are sitting at the bar, arm-wrestling, drinking, and joking; disco music plays in the background. Stop at the other end of the lounge, with a door at the back wall. Circe walks into view and stands in front of this to address the crowd. The music stops for her. When she speaks, she sounds a bit like Cruella DeVil from "101 Dalmatians".) *Circe: Listen up, all you freaks and disasters, and chill the frag out! ’Cause here comes the master! So give it up for the beast with the plan! (stepping back o.c. as the door opens) The one, the only, D-D-D-Dark Laser! *(From the shadows, the figure in the white platform shoes emerges. Dark Laser is a tall, tap-dancing alien with lumpy blue flesh. He wears black top hat, man's suit and black shoes.) *Dark Laser: Creatures of darkness…DIG IT! Too long have we been at the mercy of light. (The crowd cheers.) Night lights, streetlights, hall lights with the door cracked. And deeper still…the sun. (The crowd hisses.) I know, I know. But I, your Dark Laser, have just completed Step One of my grand master plan that will ensure an end to this problem once and for all. So prepare to hit the streets—’cause we are gonna party ALL NIGHT LONG! *(The crowd cheers wildly.) *Dark Laser: (reaching for his shades, now raised to show his eyes) So tell me. When things get creepy… *Crowd: Blame it on the boogie! *Dark Laser: (holding shades in hand) When things get spooky… *Crowd: Blame it on the boogie! *Dark Laser: And when things get freaky, funky, and nasty… (Stay on him as he encourages the crowd and soaks up the fame from his fellow night creatures, grinning proudly.) *Crowd: (from o.c.) BLAME IT ON THE BOOGIE! (They cheer him.) *(Pan right to bring Circe into view.) *Dark Laser: (to Circe) Get Ludwig Von Koopa on the horn. *(Circe reaches into her jacket and pulls out a cell phone. She dials a number and hands off to Dark Laser, who puts it to his ear. We hear the phone ringing on the other end. Dissolve to a building with a sign in front of it: “Spaceland Power Plant.” A phone is heard ringing as the camera zooms in.) *Narrator: Uh-oh! What’s he got cooking at the Spaceland Power Plant? *(Inside, a ghost stands by a thick cable labeled “Main Power.” He has blonde hair and wears a black and white shirt and shoes. A phone is in its hand—this is Ludwig Von Koopa, Dark Laser's agent assigned to carry out the next step of his master plan.) *Ludwig Von Koopa: Yeah, Boss? *Dark Laser: (over the phone) Proceed with Step Two. *( looks down at the main power cable, opens wide, and bites down on the cable, snapping it in two. Cut to the exterior of the plant and pan across town as the Narrator speaks. Lights flicker out everywhere thanks to ' sabotage of the power plant.) *Narrator: (increasingly panicked) Oh, my gosh! They’ve cut off all power to Cartoon Land! That means…no more streetlights…no more hall lights with the door cracked…and definitely no more nightlights! *(Stop in the room of a sleeping boy, a nightlight glowing by his bed. It goes out thanks to the power being cut; a moment later, a section of his blanket rises from the floor and a monster’s eyes peek out. *A monster under the bed: (laughing softly) The coast is clear! Come on! *(A host of creatures emerges from under the bed. They walk right o.c. as the boy screams, having been awoken upon hearing the first monster speak. The last one to leave, appearing some moments after the others, is an oversized sweat sock. In another house, a father holds his crying baby in one hand while fumbling sleepily for the refrigerator door handle with the other. He opens the door, revealing a large monster stuffed inside and staring back out at him. He screams in fear, but the child smiles.) *(While a girl sleeps, her bed is lifted out of view on the head of a huge beast rising from the floor. A crash is heard; pull back to show the monster now protruding through the roof, the bed still on top of him, and laughing. On a street corner, a woman has a dog on a leash. Her eyes go wide, and she looks left o.c.; pan in that direction to show a small monster with a huge dog-like beast on a leash. A car is parked next to it, and the dog lifts its leg to relieve itself. Back to the woman and her dog; both start in surprise.) *(A Birthday Bear sleeps in a race-car bed. Next, to him, a mummy’s head pokes out from under the covers, which are thrown off after a moment to reveal a steering wheel. The Birthday Bear screams and the mummy laughs at him and guns the engine. The bed roars off down the street through a monster party in full swing. A low-riding stretch limousine rolls up; the passenger door opens and out steps Dark Laser. He now wears a rainbow disco wig, white disco outfit and black shoes, and carries a cane. The crowd greets and cheers him as he makes his way to the scene; the camera follows him. He stops by a giant slug wearing a broad-brimmed pimp hat with a huge feather.) *Chop Chop Master Onion: Fashionably late again, I see. So fashionable you missed the party. *(It looks up at the sky; the sun starts to come up beyond the buildings. So much for their little night rave.) *Chop Chop Master Onion: Peep it! The sun’s already risin’. We’re gonna have to blow this joint. *(Cut to a building labeled “BEVCO.” One monster sits in front of it, holding a drink; another one stands behind it, with a storage tank in its hand for a cocktail shaker—a bartender.) *Bartender: LAST CALL! (Back to the crowd.) *Circe: Let’s wrap it up, people! The sun’s comin’ up! *Dark Laser: Hold up, hold up! Did you all forget about my grand master plan? The sun will no longer be an issue once I initiate the third and final step. *Chop Chop Master Onion: Is Step Three really all that? *Dark Laser: Shoot. It ain’t no step for a stepper. *(Close-up of the head of his cane, shaped like a skull. He flips it open to expose a red button, which he presses. Sparks fly from it; cut to the Starlight Rollerway, where more sparks crackle from the roof.) *Narrator: Uh-oh. What’s happening at the old abandoned roller rink? *(The roof flips open, and a huge sphere rises into view and flies o.c.) *Narrator: He’s launched some kind of missile! *(From outer space, we see the projectile rise up from Earth and sail across the cosmos. The camera follows it.) *Narrator: It’s a giant disco ball! *(This, then, is what Dark Laser was constructing earlier. It flies toward the sun; cut back to Dark Laser, the camera pointing up to the sky. The ball positions itself in front of the sun, blocking the light and throwing sparkles everywhere, turning the sky a sinister dark red thanks to the unnatural solar eclipse.) *Narrator: And it’s eclipsing the sun!…Oh, no! Now morning will never come to Spaceland! *(Turn down to the monster-infested street, Dark Laser and Circe at the center of the crowd.) *Narrator: And these nocturnal nightmares will be free to haunt the darkness forever! *Crowd: BLAME IT ON THE BOOGIE!! (They cheer and shout.) *(Cut to two boys asleep in bunk beds; they are seized and used as maracas by a fat, green, one-eyed creature in a Carmen Miranda getup as it laughs wildly. A dude with a lot of fluffy hair and wearing a leisure suit jumps onto a girl’s bed; another girl finds three spirits dancing next to hers. We see an invisible pimp walking an equally invisible dog down the street. At an automobile dealership, two feet smash down through the roofs of a couple of cars. Pull back and follow the owner of the feet—a freak dressed for Roller Derby—as it skates down the street.) *(Cut to a nuclear power plant, where a monster is drinking the radioactive waste. It belches out a blast of fire; pan quickly to a nearby apartment building as it is torched. The residents scream. A go-go dancer swings her hips back and forth, knocking away buildings on either side of her. Cut to Tenderheart Bear asleep at home. His blankets are thrown off by a snake with a great deal of curly red hair, and she screams in terror. Jumping out of bed, she turns and finds herself facing a seedy-looking creature with a small derby hat and a cigarette in a long holder. He screams again. Now she runs down the hall and stops in front of Love-a-Lot Bear—her hair in curlers and a beauty-mask treatment on her face. She wears her monocle even now.) *Love-a-Lot Bear: Tenderheart Bear! What is it? *(Tenderheart Bear turns toward the camera and screams. Zoom in on her open mouth, then pull back on Rosariki. We are in the girls’ bedroom again, and she too is screaming.) * Rosariki: I CAN’T GET ANY SLEEP!! (Pull back again; her sisters are also awake.) With all that racket out there! (flying to the window) Something funky’s going on downtown. * Swift Heart Rabbit: (eagerly) I’ll say! We better check it out! (She takes off.) * Rosariki: Yeah. It might be trouble! (She takes off.) * (Cut to Lil, still in bed and looking very frightened.) * Lil DeVille: Wait for me! (She takes off, scattering stuffed animals and the cover everywhere.) * (Cut to Rosa and Swift Heart in flight. The first is spoiling for a fight, while the second wears a look of anticipation. Lil DeVille flies into view to join them, sucking her thumb nervously. They land in front of the crowd of monsters, the disco ball shimmering overhead. The music is cranked up.) * Rosariki: Oh, my gosh! Spaceland's been turned into a nightmare nightclub! * Swift Heart Rabbit: Right on! (nudging Lil) Right, Lil? * Lil DeVille: Well, it’s got a good beat, and I can dance to it. (They start to get down.) * Swift Heart Rabbit: (singing) He-eyy! * (A cat creature with long claws and wearing leopard-skin tights snarls at the two girls. They scream, and Swift Heart ends up in Lil’s arms.) * Lil DeVille: Hey! You got scared! * Sylvester Cat: Yeah, little girl, I thought you liked to party. * (Swift Heart jumps out of Lil’s arms and braces for a scrap.) * Swift Heart Rabbit: Let’s get down! * (She and the cat jump toward each other. She dodges a few swings of the claws and catches it with an uppercut that knocks it away over the buildings. A huge green beast slams its jaws shut around her.) * Rosariki, Lil DeVille: Swift Heart Rabbit! * (They have no time to react, though; two huge bruisers jump into view and pin them to the pavement. These are quickly knocked away, and Swift Heart smashes her way out through the green beast’s teeth. Now all three go to work on the partygoers, but the tide soon turns against them and they find themselves on the receiving end of the beatdown.) * Narrator: Oh, no! The girls are getting swamped! * (One by one, they break free and land in the middle of the crowd.) * Rosariki: There’s too many of them! * Lil DeVille: We can’t take ’em all! * Swift Heart Rabbit: We need a plan, leader girl! * (The crowd parts to clear a path for Dark Laser.) * Dark Laser: Well, well, well. It’s the Cartoons crashing my party! (On the word "crashing", he clenches his fist, it and the arm attached shaking with rage, deeply upset at the Girls trying to ruin his moment of glory for him and his fellow night creatures.) * Lil DeVille: (hiding behind Rosa, terrified) It’s Dark Laser! * Rosariki: So it’s you who’s been terrorizing Cartoon Land and keeping us awake! * Dark Laser: (mock sympathy) Aww, I’m sorry, did I wake you? (laughing) Don’t expect to sleep anytime soon— (pointing up o.c.) —’cause now that I’ve blocked out the accursed sun— (singing) —we’re gonna make this night last forever! (The other monsters cheer.) * Rosariki: Block out the sun—? (looking overhead. She gets an idea.) That’s it! Come on, girls. We’ve gotta take out that disco ball! (The Cartoons take off.) * (Dark Laser looks up after them.) * Dark Laser: What?! No! THEY CAN’T!!! * (Enraged at the Cartoons' intent to destroy his disco ball and end the unnatural solar eclipse it is causing, he leaps back into his limousine through the sunroof. The car flips up on its rear end to point straight into the sky, then blasts off. Cut to it flying through space—a deflector panel extended from each corner—then to him in the cockpit. A pair of fuzzy dice dangles from the ceiling, and Dark Laser is in no mood for games now with his master plan threatened by the Cartoons. * Dark Laser: I’ll do it myself! * (The Cartoons approach the disco ball.) * Rosariki: Accelerate to attack formation and follow me in. * (They begin to skim the surface, flying down a narrow trench.) * Rosariki: I can see a small exhaust port at the end of the chasm. If we could just hit it with our laser guns, it should destroy the ball! * (Laser blasts strike the trench walls behind them. All three look back; Lil DeVille screams.) * Lil DeVille: Dark Laser’s on our tail! * (He is indeed, firing away. Swift Heart dodges and narrowly avoids being hit.) * Swift Heart Rabbit: Whoa! (flying to Rosa) Look out! * (She carries her sister out of range, leaving Lil by herself. Close-up of Dark Laser in his cockpit, adjusting the controls and chuckling wickedly, then back to Lil. Now she is running scared.) * Lil DeVille: (gasping) Swift Heart! Rosa! Oh, no! I… (starting to cry) I can’t do it alone! * (She remembers Ben’s words to her, and her tears stop.) * Ben Kropotkin: (memory) Lil…if you can just face your fears, then I know you can find the courage to beat ’em. * (A new determination takes hold, and she goes for broke, easily dodging every shot Dark Laser throws at her. Cut to his perspective of her from the cockpit.) * Dark Laser: A feisty little one… * (Close-up of the targeting display; an image of Lil DeVille appears dead center in the long hair.) * Dark Laser: Ha! Now you’re mine! * (Head-on view of the limo. A laser blast slams into the side of the trench just off his bow, throwing him off course. Back to the cockpit.) * Dark Laser: Huh? * (Back out in space, Rosariki and Swift Heart Rabbit fly down from the sun.) * Rosariki, Swift Heart Rabbit: Wahoo! * (They cut loose with a barrage of shots and score several hits that damage the limo and send it tumbling through space. Both address themselves to the o.c. Lil DeVille.) * Swift Heart Rabbit: You’re good to go, kid! * Rosariki: Now blow up that disco ball so we can go back to bed! *(Still flying along the trench, Lil smiles up at them and fires a single shot that curves neatly into the exhaust port. Long shot of the disco ball; the girls fly away from it and o.c., Lil with a big smile on her face. A moment later, the ball explodes into dust. On the ground, the monsters try to shield themselves from the sunlight.) *Crowd: OH, NO!! *(Camera shifts to point up at the sun; the monsters turn black and evaporate as the Narrator speaks.) *Narrator: Oh, yes! The sun is free to shine on Cartoon Land again! (Pan across a block of blackened monster leftovers.) Sorry, nightmares. Party’s over. And don’t let the doorknob hit ya where the dog shoulda bit ya. (The monsters disappear.) *(The background for the end shot comes up.) *Narrator: And once again the day is saved. *(The girls appear, asleep in bed. L to R: Rosariki, Lil DeVille, Swift Heart Rabbit.) *Narrator: Get it? “The day is saved”?…You don’t get it. ’Cause it was gonna be perpetual night! (Rosariki screws up her eyes.) You know, daylight—they saved the day, literally! *(He laughs loudly; after a moment, Rosa opens her eyes and Swift Heart glares at the camera out of one eye.) *Rosariki: Shhh! *(Both girls go back to sleep. Through all this, Lil DeVille stays out like a light.) *Narrator: (whispering) Oh. Sorry. Thanks to the Cartoons. Good night, everybody. Category:Transcripts